It’s your birthday! Because you’re new to the team, and because you’re a totally awesome manager, I really wanted to have a lovely cake waiting for you at work tomorrow to celebrate! We know we are somewhat renowned for the delight we take and frequency in which we treat ourselves with delicious cakey goodness, but can you blame us? Since this will be your first cake experience with your new colleagues, I thought this one had better be good, and as my role in Social Club Captain, the responsibility came down to me to make it happen.
Seeing as it’s your birthday today I wanted to, somehow at least, give you a bit of a treat… and sometimes, a visual treat is enough, right? So ta-dah! Check out this sweet sweet chocolate mudcake, picked out especially for you! I’m sure you’re drooling right now, doesn’t it look delicious?
It’s currently sitting proudly on our kitchen table, but worry not for it’s safety! I made a note saying “Don’t Touch! Please :)” so that my flatmates won’t eat it. It looks even more delicious in person than it does in these photographs…
Rest assured, your cake is safe with me! I had just been out for a great workout, and demonstrated amazing will power at resisting the delicacy that was calling out to me, and made a cup of herbal tea instead. As you can probably see, the tea was not nearly as tasty as I knew that cake would be…
Luckily for you, I’m dedicated to my role in making your birthday with us awesome! I chose to remove myself from temptation and off I went to have a shower then watch some Korean drama! (Don’t ask, it’s my kryptonite…)
…Not very long later: Alas, this episode was not what I expected. Geum Jan-di is so in love with Goo Jun-pyo and flew all the way to China to see him but he rejects her! NOOOOOOO! This is SO heartbreaking! He walks right past her, not even acknowledging her presence. Oh the pain! I can literally see her heart breaking, oh no, womanly empathy! I can feel it taking over!It’s no secret I’m a world class sook when it comes to romance, and just after this moment my cat rejected me too 😦 I think she just wanted to go and eat cake. Well after that, all I can say is that I’m terribly sorry… but things got a little messy.
“A little messy” may have been an understatement. I could just do a Velma Kelly and say “I completely blacked out. I don’t remember a thing!” But that would be a lie. I was desperate, I needed consolation, my cat was gone, and that cake was just right there, and it’s damn cake voice was saying “Eat me, Anna, I’ll make you feel all loved, and warm inside”. Well all resolve went out the door right then, it no longer mattered that I had just been training (summer is coming), I NEEDED THAT CAKE, I needed it soooo much.This is not a pretty picture, but you do understand don’t you? I know you were probably reeeeally looking forward to enjoying this delicious yet delicate dark chocolate treat… unfortunately, I found the evidence when I woke up in a state. It’s gone, it’s all gone. That cake with your name on it, and the little Happy Birthday sign is gone. I guess, in writing this, I just wanted to let you know that there really was a cake, my intentions were good! Honest! So, in the morning, i’ll get you a coffee and a muffin? I hope you enjoy waking up at 5am and getting the bus down here. At least with this Happy Birthday post you’ll have something to read?
Kindest of regards, your faithful subordinate.